What Did I Learn?
I didn’t realize Genesis was probably written by Moses during the time they were all in the desert wandering around.
What Stood Out To Me?
Genesis 3:16 This is when God is punishing Adam + Eve for eating the fruit. God tells Eve that she will have painful labor but he also says “Your desire will be for your husband, yet he will rule over you.” This stands out to me because it makes it sound not so easy. This is my CSB version. In my NLT study bible it says it this way “You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”
What is God Trying to Tell Me?
A couple weeks ago, when I was in my small group and we discussed Deborah in Judges, we discussed at length the role of women: in churches and in the home. We talked about the concept of submitting to your husband. With the Genesis 3:16, it speaks to me and confirms to me that submitting to your husband is part of our role. I ended up calling my mom and talking to her about it. We discussed at length the idea of submitting to your husband and also discussed the idea of whether or not God punishes (out of love, to teach a lesson, not to cause pain) his people. The punishment part, I may discuss in another post, but this is what she said about submitting to your husband.
She basically said in an ideal world it would be easy to submit to your husband because he would love you and listen to you and be kind and also be in prayer about every decision, but that God honors wives when they submit to their husbands and that even though you might need to deal with the consequences of their decisions on earth When you are brought to heaven God will never hold it against you if you submitted to your husband because it is what he calls of wives. She also made it a point to say that in every relationship, or company, or anything, there is a leader. There is one person that people look up to: A CEO if you will. And God has appointed the man to make those hard decisions, to lead the family. And that in a marriage, God has made it the man’s job to make those hard choices.
There are many differing beliefs when it comes to this, and I am not trying to tell anyone how they should live their lives, neither am I a marriage counselor to give advice. But I know from my own life, that my marriage has definitely benefited from my submitting. It has not come easy and I have dug my heels in countless times. But I know that the times that I have said, “Okay, Sean. You are the husband, you make the decision.” or after giving my opinion, and he has decided to do this own thing, I have said, “Look, Sean. If you have prayed about this, and you feel confident in your decision, I support you. I love you and I am proud of you and I support you.” When I am able to do this with no sarcasm or spite in my heart, with no underlying frustration or waiting for shit to hit the fan, our marriage is made stronger. And even when we have to face consequences, we face them together and in love, knowing that our decision was made together. I don’t walk away saying, “He did THAT wrong.” or harbor any ill feelings toward my husband.
I have to trust that in the bible when it says in 1 Peter 3 (CSB) “wives, submit yourself to your own husbands, so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live…” and “husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”
Or in the NLT it says “you wives must accept the authority of your husbands.”
I was talking with a friend, who says that we are fully redeemed from the curse of Genesis 3 because of the new covenant, but it still talks about how we as wives should act toward our husbands in 1 Peter. This I cannot deny and I fully believe that my marriage has been made better by my attempt (and yes, I say attempt as I have never been perfect at this) at submitting to my husband.
Another thing, that I feel God is speaking to me about is sin. This is what the devotional in my bible says:
This is what sin does: it lies. It promises to be shiny and colorful… … forever. It promises to be worth it. Sin tells us that God wants to keep the good stuff from us, that what we want matters more than what He has for us (Gn 3:4-5).
This was a new take that I hadn’t thought of. It goes onto say “Sin wasn’t worth it. It never is.” Which is my point. And I think sometimes it’s hard to remember that. Not only is it not worth it, but as it says in other parts of the bible, God hates sin. He hates it and wants nothing to do with it. And for us to do it so nonchalantly at times, hurts him. We should loathe it the same way he does, if we love him so.
I find in my marriage, the more time I spend with Sean, the more my likes and dislikes align with his. I would like to align myself more with God, and have my likes and dislikes be closer to His.